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Where your work meets your life. See more from Ascend here.

If you're thinking about quitting your job, you're not alone. A record number of workers are thinking about quitting right now. But what should you consider before you decide to quit? What are the actual words you should use when quitting your job?

In this episode, Innovation Editor Christine Liu turns to Dorie Clark, author of The Long Game, for answers. If quitting looks like the best decision for you, here's how to break the news to your boss, what to say in the meeting, and how to think about your last days on the job.

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You Need Tough Feedback—Here's How to Get It
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Transcript

CHRISTINE LIU: I was just thinking how much agony that was.

[FLASH-BACK]

CHRISTINE LIU: I think it's my time to move on.

LAURA NORTHRIDGE: I feel like you owe it to the company, and you owe it to me, to sort of stay. What do you think about that?

[FLASH-FORWARD]

CHRISTINE LIU: That was horrible, and that wasn't even real. How to quit your job — it sounds simple. But there's more to it than you think. If you haven't already heard, quitting is so hot right now — you know, the pandemic, the economy, the rallying cry of, "I really needed change."

So if you're thinking of quitting your job, I have some questions for you: Do you know exactly how you're going to do this? Like, when you're in the room, what are you going to say? You could wing it.

[WHISTLE]

So I quit.

[BUZZ]

Right now, we're going to figure out how to quit the right way. You're going to learn what to say, et cetera. So stick around if you want to see me figure out these tips step-by-step. Let's learn how to quit with no regrets.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Before we start, a brief word from our sponsor. We all want better ways to work. Confluence, the leading team collaboration software, keeps your whole company in sync. Confluence is one place where you can create, collaborate, and share work. So you can spend less time meeting and more time doing. Get it free today at atlassian.com/meet-less.

CHRISTINE LIU: I actually don't remember quitting. I know I have.

DORIE CLARK: You blacked out?

CHRISTINE LIU: I think I blacked. Yeah.

That is Dorie Clark. She's an author, marketing strategist, keynote speaker, and teaches at Duke University's Fuqua School of Business. She's thought a lot about how career decisions make a long-term impact.

How do know when it's time for you to quit a job?

DORIE CLARK: If you feel like you're a little bored, your advancement opportunities are just not there, and you look at the landscape and say, you know what? I could probably do better. I'm stagnating here. Perhaps I should move on. The emotional answer is, it's Sunday night, it's Monday morning, and you feel a sense of profound existential dread. And that is pretty urgent, actually, to get addressed one way or another.

CHRISTINE LIU: So if you're hearing this and thinking, "Whoa, that sounds like me. I really need to quit." Well, before you take that final plunge, just ask yourself one question: Is there anything — anything — that could keep me here at this company?

DORIE CLARK: Have I played this situation out? Have I exhausted every opportunity? The things that are in my control to make them better or to ask for them to be improved, have I done that? Have I tried that?

CHRISTINE LIU: If you're like, ugh, they're underpaying me, you could ask for a raise. If you really hate your department, you could ask to transfer teams. Whatever the request, it might seem extremely indulgent, but it doesn't hurt to ask. I mean, what do you have to lose?

DORIE CLARK: A number of studies have come out showing that a fairly significant portion of the workforce is seriously considering quitting their job, anywhere from about 25% to even up to 50% of workers. It does mean that employers, they are in much more of a position to want to make a deal with you.

CHRISTINE LIU: So after all of that, if you still decide to quit your job, great. Here is how to quit your job.

DORIE CLARK: So the first thing that you're going to want to do is to talk to your manager, the person that you report to, and let them know what the situation is.

CHRISTINE LIU: Don't gossip around your work friends, and don't be tempted to post a little teaser that you're quitting on social media. Next, you gotta figure out when you're going to deliver this message to your boss. So if you have a recurring check-in with them, perfect. That's a great opportunity to share your message. If you don't have that recurring meeting, you should send a line. I have something —

[RECORD SCRATCH]

How do I set that up? I'm not going to be like, the quitting meeting on Tuesday at 3 o'clock, right.

DORIE CLARK: You basically tip your hat and say there's something important that I need to talk to you about. And I'm wondering when would be good for you. As soon as somebody says that, they're thinking the worst. You could say, in fact, we could talk soon. We could talk today if you want.

CHRISTINE LIU: Once you're in the meeting, cut to the chase. Chances are your boss's "Spidey senses" will be tingling.

DORIE CLARK: You don't want to just be blathering because you're nervous. You need to get to it quickly.

CHRISTINE LIU: This part of the conversation is the tricky part. You'll probably want to explain a little bit about why you're quitting. Now, you could tell your boss all these honest things, and you might have really strong feelings why you're leaving. But the safest route is just to talk about your personal reasons, which are true.

DORIE CLARK: You can say something like, "Christine, I wanted to let you know, first. I have so enjoyed my time working at HBR and working with and learning from you. I've come to the conclusion that now is the right time for me to move on. And so I wanted to give my notice. Of course, I want to make sure that the transition is as smooth as possible and that I can be as helpful as possible in it."

CHRISTINE LIU: At this point, you're giving your notice, the proverbial two weeks. But in essence, you want to give enough time and transition so you can tie up loose ends, whatever else you need to do.

I can anticipate having a lot of emotion there. Do you have advice on how to keep it together in the room while this emotional conversation's happening?

DORIE CLARK: First of all, it's really important to practice what you're going to say. Because you're going to feel a lot more in control than if you somehow have to invent your answers on the spot while your heart is racing.

CHRISTINE LIU: Cue the practice montage!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Is that a good one? That works. It sets the tone, but it's also kind of like, uh, there's something coming. All right. Here we go. Adjust this. I do have something significant that I want to talk to you about. And that is I have decided to leave. Oh, wow, that's like very liberating to say out loud.

I really enjoy working here, but I've decided for my own priorities and changes within me — a lot of it is just personal reasons. I feel like I want to — my mission is ‚ this is so weird. Where am I going? Need to talk about transition. Um.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

OK, so I just practiced my quitting script, and I'm going to meet up with Laura. And I'm going to do my best to keep my cool, not fall into weird ad lib patterns, and just kind of stick to my game plan. So she actually hired me, so it's going to be a little bit emotional. That's real.

LAURA NORTHRIDGE: I've been through this before on both sides of the table. So I'm going to try and give her a hard time as best I can and not make it easy for her.

CHRISTINE LIU: If you're wondering, I'm not actually quitting my job, really. I'm going to try to keep it as realistic as possible. So I just want to make sure I hit all the steps. And if all goes well, I quit.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

So you're probably wondering why I called this meeting, so I'll just lay it out here. So I have really enjoyed working on your team, and I'm really grateful for the opportunities that I've had at HBR. But I have done some reflection over the past year, and I think it's my time to move on.

I am really excited about all the stuff we've been doing, but I see myself in a smaller type of organization, a startup. I think, personally, it's just what I would like to see myself doing.

And also, I just really want to make sure this transition is as seamless as possible, so I've specced out a plan for the next two weeks that I can tie up loose ends, finish up projects, make sure everything is in order before the transition. I'll work with you to the best of my ability to get it all done.

LAURA NORTHRIDGE: I've enjoyed, very much, working with you here. I know your colleagues have also enjoyed working with you. You're a superstar. So I couldn't imagine any organization that might not want you. So that's not a surprise that you might be considering other options.

Sometimes startups fail, and then you're sort of just left, and you don't know what the next thing might be. And they can fail within a month. They can fail within a year. And I don't want to see that happen to you. You're too good for that. I want you to stay here.

CHRISTINE LIU: I have — I think from a personal standpoint, for personal decisions, I think just this year has put things into clarity. And this is the direction I decided to go.

DORIE CLARK: One thing that can actually be even harder sometimes is if you really like your boss, and you're leaving, and you feel like you're letting them down. And that can be really difficult, emotionally. It's almost like leaving the nest to fly away. And unfortunately, there's not a magic-bullet cure for it. You do have to leave the nest, eventually.

[HAWK CRY]

LAURA NORTHRIDGE: We have a show with your name on it. You know, this is about you. You're the star of that. How do you expect me to just replace a star like that? I mean, I feel like you owe it to the company, and you owe it to me to sort of stay.

CHRISTINE LIU: I think it would be best if I moved on. And I want to help you and the team for whatever it takes to usher you guys into a successful transition. So again, much appreciated. I do sincerely thank you. Thanks, Laura.

LAURA NORTHRIDGE: Fine. Disclaimer, as a manager, I would never do that to an employee and try and guilt them that way. That's not normally how I would suggest any manager act.

CHRISTINE LIU: I was grinning through my teeth. I was like, oh, that is going for the jugular, Laura. I'm just going to sit, grin and bear it, and try to get through it. Like, I had one job. The one job was to quit. I cannot veer from this. So you made it hard.

I was just thinking how much agony that was. And that wasn't even real. I feel relieved that it's over. And so, first of all, Dorie's framework that I practiced, it was so helpful to have that baseline of gratitude and personal reasons and transition at the forefront. That was really powerful.

If you're thinking about quitting or just about to quit, I understand it is a huge decision. It will definitely affect your career. It will definitely affect your life, hopefully for the better.